“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
– President Theodore Roosevelt
We all fall victim to it. The critic that sees others and worries that you’ll never measure up. That what the other person has accomplished isn’t possible for you. That you’ll never catch up so why even bother?
This is all a game we play with ourselves to procrastinate. To make excuses not to do what we need to do. To put one foot in front of the other and take a step. Because we’re afraid. Of failure, of judgment, of ridicule. But in all reality, taking those steps are precisely what make you stronger, braver, and better than you were.
You don’t need to be someone else.
You don’t need to compare yourself to others.
You only need to compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
This shift in attitude removes the unfairness of comparing yourself to someone else, and it puts you on track to incrementally progress. Comparing yourself to someone else is completely uninformative. You both have completely different life paths, starting points, backgrounds, advantages and disadvantages. It wouldn’t make any sense to begin your fitness journey with a background of being obese with little to no exercise experience and then compare yourself to someone who never had trouble with weight, has been training for 20 years and has a PHD in exercise physiology. That’s like grabbing a basketball for your first time and wondering why you aren’t Lebron James. It makes no sense to make that kind of comparison and does you no good.
However, if you compare yourself to yourself, now you’re playing a fair game. Same person, same background, same genetics, same advantages and disadvantages. But you can get better every day, and that is the key to success.
Here are a few examples of the utility and psychological benefit of comparing yourself to you:
- The you of yesterday tended to skip workouts, but today you showed up.
- The you of yesterday never showed up for every workout for a full month, but this month you showed up for them all.
- The you of yesterday could do 5 pushups. Now you can do 15.
- The you of yesterday couldn’t do a pull-up without assistance, and now you can get your chin all the way above the bar.
- The you of yesterday was sluggish or tired all the time, the you of today is full of energy.
- The you of yesterday couldn’t squat down without pain, but now you can squat with full range of motion pain free.
These changes don’t need to impress others, they merely need to represent progress. Progress toward a healthier, stronger and more confident you. Isn’t that what this is all about? For most of us, it isn’t about trying to be a physique competitor, model or professional athlete. Its merely to feel better in our own skin, to feel stronger and improve our health and well being. And perhaps to look a little better, but that comes along with training and healthy diet anyway.
In your health and fitness journey, the last thing you need is to feel small, as if you’re always in the shadow of other people who are at a different point in their journey. What you need is to see the progress you’ve made and the person you are becoming. A person that shows up, puts one foot in front of the other, and gradually overcomes your obstacles and limiting beliefs.
How Do I Stop Comparing Myself To Others?
- Remind yourself that it isn’t a competition between you and them, but a competition between you today and you yesterday.
- Focus on what you have done and what you can do, not how you look compared to someone else or what they have done or attained.
- Review your progress: I.E. How many reps/how much weight did you do on a given exercise this week vs a month ago? What can I do today that I couldn’t do in the past? This builds earned confidence.
- Commit yourself to take steps forward, aiming toward an ideal of who you know you can be, humbly taking one small step at a time.
- Remember that merely showing up is a victory over procrastination and fear.
Whether this manifests in your health and fitness journey, like hiring a personal trainer or committing to a workout program, or in any other part of your life, you will do yourself a favor by only comparing yourself to you.
